Twitter de-civilises:

I'm like most other 22-year-olds who come from a comfortable background, is well-educated and doing a postgraduate degree: I'm no shrinking violet. 

One of my research assignments at university at the moment is the impact of social media on social interaction. While I had read a lot about the subject and was aware of some high profile and tragic cases, I hadn't really experienced it before, not least because I've chosen not to go on Twitter. It appears to be the worst of the social media. In fact, only recently a pretend obituary was written for Twitter because of a fairly broad perception of its de-civilising influence on individuals.

I recently got a taste of this first-hand. 

I am fortunate to have a part-time job where I am learning a bit about office administration; I write a bit (such as this article); and get involved with social media on different subjects.

One of these subjects is football, or soccer - a sport I love and have played since I was 5 and still do. The small, independent online publication I work for (affiliated with Motherpedia) is co-sponsoring a new award for Blog(ger) of the Year. Without going into the detail, because of factors to do with a technical issue and time, the publication put up a long shortlist for the award comprising both individual blogs and organisational blogs. We explained this in various communications.

What happened next was some unexpected reactions from three people - at least unexpected for me as the person looking after social media when this was announced.

One person was upset because he was not nominated. That's understandable. We tried to explain the rationale behind it; he is one person caught up in an organisational blog even though his byline is given to the blog. He was not rude, but he was clearly annoyed, quite short in tone and also told us we should re-name the award. It was a fair and reasonable suggestion, even if not graciously given.

Another person started what I can only describe as hectoring. There was no bad language, but there was a distinct tone of criticism, badgering and plain old bossy attitude perhaps best summed up with a tweet where he PUT WORDS IN CAPITALS, in a universally recognised symbol of shouting, and told me what should be done NOW. He continued by saying this was an "injustice" and "dishonest". 

Finally, another person said there was "not a chance in hell" he would vote. The reason? He believed the voting form invited address details. It did; but they were not required, only optional. We triple-checked the form before saying so politely in reponse, but he then abused me of lying. I couldn't believe it! Why would we?

I have kept the entire series of exchanges as 'living research' for my assignment. It was a great insight into how Twitter can empower people - perhaps - to be someone that they may not be in a one-to-one situation. They get behind a screen and have an exchange with others they think they'll never meet. 

The exchanges upset me. It was only three people, but they were aggressive and quick to condemn, criticise and whinge. It also helped me to appreciate what it must be like for a young person - boy or girl, man or woman - who feels harrassed or bullied at school, on social media or in the workplace. 

I know that many of you reading this would say that I have to toughen-up or I shouldn't let people like this worry me. 

But isn't the real point that it should be possible to interact and to be civil with each other?

Isn't it possible to say the same thing without being accusatory or critical?

Isn't it possible to make your view known or heard WITHOUT SHOUTING?

By way of contrast, a fourth person - a woman - had a question about the process and she addressed it privately.

I write this not because I am seeking sympathy from anyone. As I said at the outset, I'm not a shrinking violet. The two lovely people I work with have put their metaphorical and literal arms around me, and have agreed to publish this blog in 'Mum Opinion' on Mother's Day weekend when I'm not a mum.

But it was an unpleasant start to the day and it has put a sour framework around it, out of something implicitly positive. 

If that's Twitter, if that's social media or worse for me, if that's how fans of the game I play and love deal with one another, I don't want any part of any of it.

And my advice to mums? Don't let your kids anywhere near it either.