Kerryn Boogaard Kerryn Boogaard
Beverly Goldsmith Beverly Goldsmith
Zoe Bingley-Pullin Zoe Bingley-Pullin

Coming out of our comfort zone:

As I find myself, and the children’s book I have written, more and more in the media, I find I am well and truly out of my comfort zone.
By Jayneen Sanders
Date: June 10 2012
Editor Rating:

I am by no means media savvy. Prior to the book’s publication, I have never spoken on the radio (well, once on talkback and I became so nervous I hung up) or been on TV. I am just your ordinary, everyday mother of three and primary school teacher.

So when asked to talk on radio or television my nerves really start to kick in, and I am well and truly out of my comfort zone. But I tell myself to be brave, you can do this, you have something important to say.

My book, Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept is a book about empowering children and teaching them that their body is their body, and no-one has the right to touch it. Okay, let’s be honest; what it’s really about is sexual abuse prevention and that takes EVERYONE out of their comfort zone. Parents in particular.

Nobody wants to ever imagine that their child could be a victim of sexual abuse. But I am asking you to come out of your comfort zone and take your head out of the sand. With 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys being sexually abused before they reach 18, we can no longer ignore the elephant in the room. Most parents when confronted with this statistic, twitch a little, look very uncomfortable and avoid eye contact, but what they are secretly saying to themselves is: this could never possibly happen to my child. Wrong.

93% of kids know their perpetrator. It is most often someone they know well and trust in their immediate or extended family and community. Remember perpetrators groom both the parents and their children, and they are VERY skilled at it.

So let’s be honest with ourselves and look this issue square in the eye.

We are not always there to watch over our kids: the first sleepover, the first school camp, the first camping trip with the neighbours, where you there? Everyone I know is comfortable with teaching water safety and road safety to their children. Not a problem.

You teach your child to swim, just in case they find themselves in deep water when you’re not there. You teach them to cross the road, just in case they have to cross a busy street without you. But…do you teach your child body safety just in case someone touches them inappropriately when you’re not there? Or, do they just have to work out its wrong on their own?

Rest assured the perpetrator will be telling them it’s our special secret and they must never tell anyone or ... Does your child know to say, ‘Stop!’ in a confident voice, ‘My body is my body and you can’t touch it!’? Does you child know to tell someone they trust about the violation straightaway and keeping on telling until they are believed? Parents, I am asking you to please come out of your comfort zone and teach body safety skills to your child. And begin early. Your child will be thankful you did.

Even if they are never ever abused, and we certainly hope to God they never ever are, at least you have empowered them with the skills to stop the abuse before it begins. Once it begins, a lifetime of pain and suffering has also begun.

Jayneen Sanders is the author of the children’s picture book ‘Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept’ (also an ibook).

For further information visit:

Share This Tweet This Email To Friend
Recent Comments
2 Total Comments
Judy says: 2012 06 11

I am one of those that feels awkward talking about it. But I agree body safety is something that needs to be addressed with children.

Jayneen Sanders says: 2012 06 11

Hi Judy
You are not alone believe me and that is why I wrote the book so parents had a tool they could feel comfortable using with their children. It can really be as simple as telling your child: your body is your body and no-one has the right to touch it and if they do, you must tell someone and keep on telling until you are believed.

View All Comments
Post a Comment
* your email address will not appear

Please enter the word you see in the image below:

Post a Comment
* your email address will not appear

Please enter the word you see in the image below:33343

Your Comment has been posted
Related Articles
Having grandparents is a valuable and priceless thing. We all…
Read more
Considerations for parents hiring a nanny and managing that relationship…
Read more
With much of children's lives spent on Facebook, downloading YouTube…
Read more
Talking to children about body safety can be difficult for…
Read more
Cry babies

Dry your eyes!
The newest additions are on their way from the Babies who cry real tears!


Latest Tech Used In Shipping Containers
Read how the shipping industry has revolutionised

Motherpedia cover-2

Win 1 set of a 4-book hardcover illustrated boxed set
Barbara Murray’s new 4-book Sound Stories is perfect for parents and educators and could assist with NAPLAN results

Motherpedia cover (4)

Where to celebrate Oktoberfest Australia
Get ready for this celebration!

Motherpedia cover-4

A Fortnight of Foodie Experiences at East Village
A taste of East Village. What's in it for me?

Globber my too fix up cover

We Try: Globber My TOO Fix Up
A scooter that grows with your child

Throw a winning cricket pitch

3 Steps to a Winning Backyard Cricket Pitch
Ex-Adelaide Oval legend curator Les Burdett shares his tips for getting your backyard cricket pitch test match ready this summer

A bike that follows your kids life cycle - motherpedia - cover

A Bike That Follows Your Kids Life Cycle
Check out the Bunzi 2-in-1 gradual balance bike!

Moonlight lifestyle

Moonlight Cinema to bring…
Moonlight Cinema announces brand new Western Sydney venue

Screen shot 2019-11-26 at 8.29.12 am

Your Magical Christmas Wonderland…
Adventure park is about to light up the night sky with its "Christmas Festival of Lights"

Screen shot 2019-11-21 at 11.11.36 am

The Preston Market Gets…
It's time to feel pumped up for the holiday season!


Bunnings team members get…
Help raise funds by buying a snag or donating at your local store.