Kerryn Boogaard Kerryn Boogaard
Beverly Goldsmith Beverly Goldsmith
Zoe Bingley-Pullin Zoe Bingley-Pullin

Having your emotional needs met:

When you have good emotional support, everything else is easier to deal with. When you can't (or won't) feel that support, the weight of your burdens is heavier and your ability to take in the good is somewhat diminished
By Dr Barton Goldsmith
Date: July 19 2012
Editor Rating:

In order to get your emotional needs met, you must be proactive and ask for what you need. This may mean asking for a hug or for your hand to be held when you are feeling a bit shaky. Getting comfortable with sharing your needs is the first step.

By stating your needs, you have a greater chance of having them answered. If you expect someone to read your mind, most likely you won't get the support you need.

Those who are unable to ask or expect others to just know what they need are more likely to become less stable as their hearts remain unhealed and they stay stressed out. This can cause people to be introverted or even irritable because they don't feel good about themselves.

These days, getting loving words from someone can be as easy as opening up your Facebook page or sending a text. "Just touching base" is a good opening line if you want to reconnect with someone via email or social networking. By the way, I don't think it's a good idea to make electronic contact your only source for emotional support; there's a big world out there with lots of other people who need and want to feel connected.

Being in close proximity to another human being is really the best way to feel emotional support. A phone call can work (for a while), but face-to-face contact is really the best way to go. This is not about romance. It's about having a person (or people) who will listen to what is going on in your heart. Just talking about your pain will help diminish it, and you will create a stronger bond with the person who is listening. This is basically how therapy works.

If you really can't find a person or just aren't feeling strong enough to reach out, even to a family member, having an animal can make a big difference. A pet may not be able to help you think through a problem, but having one can make you calmer, and the unconditional love of an animal is always uplifting.

If you are wondering why you need emotional support in the first place, the answer is simple: You're human. Very few people can do life all by themselves, and those who choose to are missing out on one of the best parts of being alive.

*Dr Barton Goldsmith is a marriage and family therapist and author of 100 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence - Believe in Yourself and Others Will Too.

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