Life is about the follow-up:
We all make mistakes, but it's what we do afterwards that's important.
Date: June 17 2014
In my 43 years on this planet, I’m yet to come across someone who hasn’t made a mistake.
But what I do come across in my work as a Life Coach are two definite groups of people – those who choose to let failure dictate their lack of action towards achieving their goals, and those who embrace failure as an opportunity that drives them to live life better, smarter and stronger.
Life is all about the ‘follow up’. It’s not about the mistakes you make or the errors in judgment. I can guarantee that at some point you are going make a mistake as humans do, so the key is to decide today on how you will choose to view those mistakes. Failure can stop you in your tracks or can be a gift that teaches you that there is a better way to do something.
As Thomas Edison, the American inventor of the light bulb said: “I have not failed; I have just found 10,000 ways that do not work.”
We as women are often our own worst critic, harshly judging ourselves for who we have been, what we have done or how we have acted in the past.
But who you are is not your past. You are here, it is only your thoughts that remain there. Who you are is the sum of the choices you will make, plus the action that you take – today. That defines your character, not your past.
You are doing the best you can, with the tools, resources and knowledge you have at any given time. Maya Angelou said ‘When you know better, you do better.’
However, what I believe needs to be added to this quote is that ‘both come from choice’.
If you are one to choose to not know and do better, consider how remaining in this place is currently serving you.
That statement surprises many, however it’s often the case that we do not move forward into our own version of happiness due to ‘it’s better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t know.’
When I’m at this point, I personally decide to weigh up my options, draw two columns and write down everything that would not serve me by staying the same, and everything that would serve me, by deciding to make a change. Fear can be described as ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’. I often ask my clients to turn around and physically try to face theirs, because chances are they’re not going to see anything.
You can allow the illusion of fear to reside in your mind, but you are your mind’s driver. You have the keys, you are at the wheel and you decide your destination. That begins with choice.
You are going to be your longest relationship in life, so why not choose to make it a great one? This comes from nurturing, respecting and accepting yourself in your entirety. I’m guessing you wouldn’t see your best friend as the women who made mistakes in the past, you would see her as the woman she chooses to be today. The ability to do this for yourself allows you to remove chains that bind you to your past and transition fully into a life you desire.
Inspired living is what you choose to do after those times you make a mistake or experience failure. It is those choices that define who you are, not the error itself. Your mistakes do not make up your character. They are presented to each and every one of us as an opportunity to learn and evolve during our journey on earth. What creates your character, are the choices that you make and the action that you take - the follow up. You are currently enrolled in the School of Life and failure or opportunity, however you wish to describe it, will always be part of your lesson plan.
Life is not what is holding you back. If you are not achieving to the level you would like, ask yourself if you are choosing to remain in unhelpful beliefs, thoughts, emotions or actions that stem from the past. What else could you choose to believe, think and feel, and what action could you take today to support a better way of being, doing and having?
When you set the intention to move forward in your life, you will not be alone. Teachers and guidance will appear everywhere for you. It may seem magical, but it is due to what you are focusing on and taking action toward – living the life of your dreams.