Kerryn Boogaard Kerryn Boogaard
Beverly Goldsmith Beverly Goldsmith
Zoe Bingley-Pullin Zoe Bingley-Pullin

Preparing your child for another baby:

Children aren't always happy when a sibling is on the way because the notion that they will have to share their mum and dad with a brother or sister isn't pleasing.
By Motherpedia
Date: September 08 2012
Editor Rating:
another-baby

Many parents ask about the best way to prepare their eldest for the arrival of a baby.

It will mean first and foremost that receiving the undivided attention of their parents is over.

"For some first-born children it is like being driven from paradise," says Hans Dusolt, director of a family counselling service in Munich.

Parents worry the most over jealousy and whether their older child will like the new baby.

Andreas Boehmelt, a family psychologist , says parents shouldn't tell their older child too early that a sibling is on its way. They should wait through the first part of the pregnancy until the risk of a miscarriage has subsided.

The best way to tell the child is for the mum to explain that she has something important to tell him or her by mentioning her growing belly and explaining that that's because a baby is there.

Not much more need be said. "It's important not to pile too much information on the child," said Friese.

Initially, it's enough to say that another baby is on the way and that it's a something to look forward to.

It's important that parents involve their son or daughter in the pregnancy by letting the first-born touch their mum's growing belly and by taking them along when shopping for baby items or going to the paediatrician.

Do all these things with the child so that he or she doesn't feel left out, the experts say.

At the same time parents must strike the right balance and avoid exaggerating their attention, and parents must recognise any insecurity.

"Parents must be clear and tell their first-born child that they have just as much love for them as before the pregnancy," said Boehmelt.

Another good idea is to tell the child about the positive changes that take place when a baby brother or sister arrives.

"You have a wonderful role: You will then be the older brother or older sister," is one approach, said Boehmelt.

"You can already do a lot and the baby will have to learn from you."

Parents shouldn't expect too much, however. "You cannot double your time and energy when you have two kids," said Dusolt.

Therefore, it's not always possible to avoid the first-born child feeling demoted when number two arrives.

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