A question I have pondered as a parent, and not in a professional capacity, is at what point do my children’s right to privacy kick-in?
I have three children aged from 6-14 years and, in the past, I have shared their photos on Facebook from time-to-time. But now my daughter and my eldest son have told me in no uncertain terms that they don’t want me to do this and I should stop.
I have to respect their wishes, but it occurred to me it was an interesting ethical issue. It is, perhaps, why alternative social media has cropped-up for families such as Kinfish that was featured on Motherpedia some months ago.
My children – one of whom is on Facebook, the other two are not – have a right to privacy, just as my friends do. If we’re out with a group of friends and take a photo, and one of them asks that it not be shared, I respect that. How can I possibly not do so for my 14-year-old daughter and 7 and 11-year-old sons?
There comes a point when parents lose the right to tell their children’s stories – except for their weddings of course. (I have an aunt who can't wait for her youngest son to be married just so she can tell a very funny story about him from when he was 8). But seriously: when do things stop being something that happened to me, or our family, and be something that happened to one of the kids and, therefore, not my story to tell, or my picture to share?
Even by writing this, am I encroaching upon their privacy, because this will exist long after they’ve left school and started work and an adult life for themselves?
Obviously, I don’t know the answer and I assume that there are other parents out there asking the same questions. The good thing is we are better informed each day about the implications of sharing information, how it’s being accessed and the use of social media. The key question is when do ‘online rights’ shift from being that of the parent to that of the child.
I would really welcome your views.
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