The Scales of Justice for Marriage
Perhaps every married couple might benefit from placing a statue of Lady Justice in their bedrooms as a constant reminder that in times of stress a marriage needs prudence, balance and tolerance.
Although Lady Justice wears a blindfold, holds the scales of balance in one hand and a sword in the other, she is the perfect image of how to protect and strengthen your marriage during stressful times.
Marriage often requires a blindfold to avoid heated arguments that seemingly erupt over resolvable issues. The scales remind married couple to reason with each in balance and proportion to the stresses placed upon each of you.
The sword is a reminder of the protection required for your commitment and obligation to the marriage vows made as two mature-minded, responsible people with shared life goals.
Just, Right and Marriage Goals
It is pretty easy during stressful times to forget the reason two people were attracted to each other and moved forward to married life. It takes constant awareness of much needed balance to know when to speak and when to listen.
It is also important to treat each other with the same justice and fairness you expect from others.
Before tackling the serious, most stressful issues give deliberate pause a chance to infuse the married relationship with a sense of reason. Learn to reason with each other by making suggestions rather than demands.
Time is the one element that acts as a balm for stress. What appears to be intolerable one day, may not look so extreme after a two-day pause.
In that two-day pause spend time reminiscing about happy memories and times spent together as a couple. This is also a reflection of areas where marriage goals have developed and how often those goals were reached without stress.
Trust, Respect and Appreciation
At some point in the relationship a sense of trust developed. Trust should never be borne of familiarity. It is quite true that familiarity breeds contempt because trust is an expectation that often wears thin during times of stress.
Also, trust is essential to all marriages but should never be taken for granted and should always be reinforced with acts of kindness, affection and love.
In times of stress it is also important to re-evaluate each other's mutual respect. If lack of respect is causing stress in a marriage, it needs to be addressed not from an accusatory level which is destructive to a marital relationship, but from a more constructive basis so respect can be restored.
Avoid the accusatory, pre-emptive "you" and exchange it for "we" to reduce anger and judgmentalism. This is how you protect your marriage from deepening the damage done by stresses.
The famous author Khalil Gibran wrote, "For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."
Today's legal firms, such as Prime Lawyers, can iron out most of the serious stressful issues, should you reach a major obstacle.