Kerryn Boogaard Kerryn Boogaard
Beverly Goldsmith Beverly Goldsmith
Zoe Bingley-Pullin Zoe Bingley-Pullin

The books of our lives:

Caroline reflects on her son completing an important chapter in his life - school - and wonders how his book of life will unfold.
By Caroline McMahon
Date: November 11 2014
Tags: growing-up,
Editor Rating:
liam

Fourteen years ago I enrolled Liam to start his formal education journey. While kindergarten and pre-primary were not compulsory at the time, it was where we chose for you to get started at school.

He has always loved school. Some periods of time more than others, but if someone asked me a ‘yes/no’ question of whether Liam enjoyed school, my answer would be an absolute ‘yes’.

With great imagination, Liam was well known for his dress-ups. Having a lovely wardrobe of clothes was of no interest to him at all, the dress up box is where he dived to get dressed for kindy and pre-primary.  We had many disagreements on acceptable school dress codes with Batman or Spiderman usually winning, even if worn underneath more traditional school clothes. By pre-primary, this morning ritual was wearing thin on me. I approached Liam’s teacher and apologised for Superman attending school today and the dilemma I was faced with each morning.  

She smiled kindly and told me to encourage it.  

“Caroline, Liam will go into school uniform next year and spend the next twelve years wearing it. Let him enjoy not having to wear it this year and be comfortable in his own choice.”    

It was as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. She was celebrating rather than berating Liam’s choice of school wear. After school I informed Liam of his teacher’s view and the biggest smile grew across his grubby face. From the next day onwards we got to school happy and as friends. It turns out he didn’t mind his school uniform either; it was like a different kind of dress-up.  He was playing another role when he was in these clothes.

As I looked further into research of children who liked the world of dress-ups and make believe, I learned that this was only a good thing. Children with these tendencies appear to develop more lateral thinking and this becomes a great skill in adolescence and adulthood. When faced with a problem, these skills allow us to be creative and look for an alternative rather than go for a single channelled resolution.  

Armed with such information I was even inspired to go out and add to his collection of costumes and was known to sew Harry Potter capes when none were available to purchase.  I became a dab hand at backward lightning strikes being drawn on with my eyeliner to Liam’s forehead.

As Liam grew older, his desire to dress up waned but never really became extinct.  There was always a bit of resistance to throwing out the dress-up box, and with younger brother Nic enjoying the odd dress-up, there was always a reason to keep it.

The boys attended a primary school that encouraged the arts and a lot of drama. So school plays and performing arts festivals often called for costumes. The ultimate dress-up day was the annual Book Week Festival. This required many weeks of deciding and arranging costumes, material etc.  There was great excitement from all the students on Book Parade Day and for Liam, I am sure it felt like the rest of his school came in line with him for a day.

In secondary school, dress-ups were left far behind for the world of sport.  Cricket pads, rugby helmets and finally Speedos, caps and mouthguards for water polo became his new dress-ups.  Long forgotten was the dress-up box until a Halloween Party or school drama came knocking.

Liam has now completed his last set of exams for his secondary education. While the world will not stop if he does not do well, and nor with the love of his family and friends, there is a certain pressure on himself and, I guess, indirectly from me, my husband and Liam’s teachers that he should do well.

My sons and I were in an attempted armed robbery/ car jacking a few years ago (which I wrote about here). While a traumatic and permanent scar on our family, there was the proverbial silver lining from the dark cloud. When the children were preparing to give evidence in an upcoming trial, they had to attend the Supreme Court.

In his adolescent wisdom, Liam decided that he would like to be a witness in open court rather than seek permission to give evidence from CCTV.  After visiting an open court, Liam had realised that there are occupations that require dressing up; that he could earn a living dressing-up.  Sure, a fair bit of skill as well but the thought of wearing a cape-like gown to go to work struck a chord with him. It got him thinking about careers and what he wanted to do when he left school.

Four years later, Liam is still planning his post-high school life. Soon we will know how and where this plan is going – whether plan A, B, or C will need to be implemented.

While we all hope that his preparation for university goes well and that plan A will be executed, I think he has learned a lot about himself in the process.  He has learned to manage school expectations, paid work, sporting commitments, a long-term girlfriend, friends, family and a social life all simultaneously. The real-world stuff.  

Being successful within narrow educational parameters does not seem to be as important as being a success as a person and a decent human being.  

So, Liam, while your dad and I wish nothing but the best for you and that all your study and application to school pays off for you and that you find your career with preference to being able to dress-up for a living, we are very proud of how you have managed all of your commitments. You have thought laterally and planned how you would meet all your deadlines and expectations. Not once did you give up, quit your job, fall behind at school. You plugged on despite health issues and a clash of timetables. You did it.

If your life were a book, this would be the last few pages of the secondary school chapter. When I read a good story, I fight with myself in those last few pages of whether to race ahead and cheat to read the last the page so I know what or happens, or to savour each word and page as soon the story and my enjoyment will be over.  I wish I had that choice now, as I would most certainly race ahead to know how this chapter finishes. But I have to wait; to go through each day as though it were a page in your life book - hoping that all good things come to those who wait.

To us, you are already a success. We look forward to the next chapter of your life and I hope your life author keeps us written in each page as your loving and proud family.

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