I have been a teacher for 30+ years and have 3 children of my own.
Bullying is the new hot issue in education. While I don’t wish to trivialise the trauma of those children who are genuine victims of bullies, a significant number of cases reported to schools these days are not bullying. They are often disagreements between social equals whose parents, thanks to media hype, label it bullying. I have often investigated these situations to find fault on both sides.
Again thanks to media hype, the bullies are often the ones to report these incidents, getting in before they themselves are dobbed in.
My two oldest children both experienced bullying. How did I know this wasn’t just some schoolyard tiff? my daughter changed from being a very happy outgoing child who loved school to a child who had vague illnesses very morning and cried all the way to school.
My son who is quieter also had the mystery illnesses. I realised something was very wrong and it wasn’t some disease. Persistent questioning finally brought out the real problems. Incidentally, when I spoke to their principal, he wasn’t much help because 2 of the bullies had mothers who taught or had taught at the school.
One thing I have observed repeatedly over the years, bullies aren’t born that way - they learn it at home. I’ve met many parents of bullies and there is always one who is a bully. They may not bully this child but someone in their family is their victim. No wonder parents don’t want to face up to this.
And another thing - the bullying behaviour is often quietly reinforced by teachers who are often bullies themselves. There is always at least one person on staff in schools who people tiptoe around and who always gets their own way.
As long as parents continue to bully their children, this issue will not go away.
I wonder what the next big media issue with education will be.
Maddie